Winter's Grip, take 2
Thanks for all the input. Here's my second stab at it. Winters GripSnow blankets all the island, lying deepin drifts of blinding white on dusky sand.Ice claims the ocean as it outward creepsto still...
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Hello Meck.I enjoyed this gentle nature poem.I don't think the couplet adds much, though. I think the poem reads better without it, as a 12-liner.(By the way, no need to start a new thread for...
View ArticleRe: Winter's Grip, take 2
Hello Meckman , welcome to SC.I like this poem and the picture it creates.The second version is certainly an improvement. I think L 8 is iambic wrong as INto is a troucheesINto a world made strange,...
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You know, the eighth line & the ninth could both be read as metrically askey, very slightly. But in a way, placed where they are, I find they give a lift to the volta, which is otherwise slight....
View ArticleRe: Winter's Grip, take 2
Meck: (it appears you have been named) The images are crisp and evocative, I can even hear the squeak of the snow at footfalls. I highly commend the revisions with only one exception:shoreline sand is...
View ArticleRe: Winter's Grip, take 2
OOPS! I forgot to say....Mike, I thoroughly enjoyed that critique. Thank you for that illustration re:elevating the volta. I appreciate subleties I had missed there. Meck, take a bow, whether it was...
View ArticleRe: Winter's Grip, take 2
Thank you all for your comments. D.G., I'll know not to start a new thread next time; I'm glad you enjoyed it. Aggiel, I'm glad you like the picture the poem paints. I find that most of my poems (I...
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Meck:How interesting that is indeedy! I read and reread your sonnet in light of your 'coming out' and could not understand why I took the writer to be male. The answer is amusing, it's the responses...
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Hello meck . That explains why I found the poem to be very feminine . Aggie
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Hell, my posting name is 'thomas' and I have a sonnet to my husband on the board - we're a confused bunch, eh? Meckman - I thought this was a very pretty poem, too.Here are a few opinions. For one,...
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Hi, franny, Aggiel, and thomassturtle,Sorry about the gender confusion. meckman has always been my user name--first initial of my first name smushed up against my last name. Never realized it sounded...
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